Moms, grandmas, aunts, and anyone really all have those stories, advice, and “facts” that they can’t wait to share with new moms who are in the thick of it and honestly, most of it is bull. At least in my experience. Here are some things I was told that didn’t help…like at all.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps”
Yea, ok. Great idea in theory but I found as a new mom, I had to make choices; either I sleep/rest or I shower, eat, hydrate, do laundry, do dishes, pay attention to my poor dog who did NOT sign up for this, and then maybe rest just in time for my kid to wake up hungry and ready to do it all again. “Don’t worry about the dishes or laundry,” I wouldn’t worry if I had plenty of counter space and clean clothes. “Your husband can do that stuff,” no thank you. I have a system. Also he works full time so I can be home with our child. The advice should just say “sleep when you can but also good f***ing luck.
“If you breastfeed, the weight just falls off”
False. Faaaallllsseee. At least in my experience. The weight fell off when they took my child out of me and the rest that was left behind is now chilling with me. I breastfeed constantly so I’m always eating and I eat a balanced diet but the weight just wants to chill. My advice on this one, don’t worry about it, especially early on. Your body grew and birthed a baby, let it chill for a moment before trying to drop weight. Focus on healthy (mentally and physically) habits.
“Newborns are boring, all they do is eat and sleep”
Sure, all they do is eat and sleep…every 2-3 hours. Also they cry a lot and make you become a detective trying to figure out what it could be (diaper, food, tired, just because). They are anything but boring. Plus when you finally get them sleeping, you’re not bored because you are playing catch up, probably with your own needs!
“Don’t worry so much, they’er resilient”
Again, easier said than done. Sure, they are pretty resilient creatures but you’re a new mom! Your job is to worry! Sometimes your doctor doesn’t help either and puts a lot of thoughts or cautions in your head so you are constantly worrying (Are they too hot/cold, have they ate enough, are they gaining weight, how many wet nappies have I changed). This is where having a group of other moms is so helpful because you can run your worries by each other and some of the veteran moms will have great advice or offer a listening ear.
“After a few weeks, don’t worry, you’ll want another one”
Another wildly false statement. You may want another. You may go from not wanting another to wanting another. You may go from wanting another to not wanting another. You may have only wanted one to begin with! This statement is not a fact. Your experience and your wants are so don’t listen to this, listen to you. The level of birth trauma you went through, difficulty of pregnancy, and how your postpartum journey went will probably be your deciding factor. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about creating the family size YOU and your partner want.
Sometimes, “facts” and advice should not be shared. These ones were the ones that had and still have me rolling my eyes. Comment below with the worst advice or statements someone has said to you!